Rose Maceration Mastication

May 21, 2009 – 16:39

My beloved readers, I do not have to tell you that I have been around for a while and I have seen it all. Fellow winemakers here in Le Sud de France are tres furieux because Le EU (Now, THAT was a stupid idea, we should all be united as the FU) has decided to let winemakers make white wine and then add a drop of red, to get the pink colour that they want for le vin rose.

This process is not what I do at chez moi, but it has worked very well for le heathens at Gallo, Sutter Home and Jacobs Creek. So, if it makes us better able to compete with the cretins of the New World, then I am in favor. The big guys like Grands Chais will, I am sure, start making their version of le White Zinfandel.

My compatriots should not be so upset with this. If there is one thing that we have all learned, it is that quality, and style win out. If we continue to make our wines with authenticity, focusing on quality and being true to ourselves, then the change in the law doesn’t matter. It is about what we do for ourselves, our wines and our brands that makes them stand out in the global market. So, relaxing an arcane law that allows us, if we need, to be more competitive in the global market is a good thing. After all we don’t want the overlords controlling EVERYTHING we do, do we? Freedom from regulation will allow us all a greater ability to prosper.

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I Taste Le Berries

May 21, 2009 – 02:04

Jean-Charles, the sommelier in my local put on a little red wine tasting recently. Here are my comments. I see things in wine that no one else can.

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Pawning the Family Jewels

May 20, 2009 – 01:58

I am so sad, as I read about Le Mother Country descending to the ranks of places like America, Canada and heaven forbid, New Zealand. All of those culture-less savages live for today and have no respect for the future. They are the epitome of what is wrong with the third world: They have no industry left and just spend spend spend.

Not like France, we have industry: Le Vin! Le Foie Gras, Louis Vuitton and Hermes. Le Parfumers. We are the capital of all that is fine on this earth. But our government has been bailing our Le Fat Chats, and there is no money left to support our ridiculous, bloated, arcane, insular, confiscatory fabulous welfare statist social programs. Now there is no le dole money left so all my brethren in Paris and Cannes must now sell Le Petrus and Le Lafite and Le Mouton in order to pay the rent.

It is a sad day for France, it is a sad day for moi. But rest assured that as I single handedly save the French wine business, I pledge that we will soon have a chicken in every pot and a bottle of Romanee Conti on every table. Please, please, join me in saving Le Mother Country.

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I Love Bordeaux, too bad Mother Nature Doesn’t

May 15, 2009 – 13:04

You know I love all that is France. I love Paris in the Springtime, Val d’Isere in winter and Le Languedoc all year round. I also love Bordeaux. It is just unfortunate for them that the are located in such a rough and unwelcoming part of France. I guess it is better than Champagne, where it is so cold that they cannot ripen their grapes- but that is another story.

In any case, my countrymen in Bordeaux have sustained a bit of a natural disaster. I propose a moment of silence and I want them to know that we in Le Languedoc will set aside even more of our wine this year to ship over to them in tanks to make their vin a bit more, how do you say, agreeable.

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Murphy Goode In Shameless Marketing Stunt

May 14, 2009 – 02:40

Murphy Goode is one of the wineries that Le Maestro, Jess Jackson owns, in addition to Kendall Jackson, La Crema, Cambria, and a slew of others. In any case, these nitwits are doing a social media experiment by buying a blogger for a year and putting them up in a guest house on zee propriete.

When I talked to Jesse’s peeps at the last meeting of the International Society of Winery Big Wigs, they said that he was busy buying race horses, not bloggers. Anyway, everyone knows that no one reads blogs, and especially from Samoa County which I am informed is very close to Las Vegas - a place I DO want to go to.

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